An All Nighter

The sun is just beyond the horizon and the sky is starting to lighten up; I can see pinks in the midst of the cloudy sky.  That's right - a cloudy sky in the Sunshine State of Queensland on this, the 20th day of March, the start of our Autumn.

It was not my plan to pull an all nighter, but my insomnia had other ideas and I have been resistant to seek the assistance of artificial means, but alas, last night was the icing on the cake for me, so to speak.  I will take myself to the chemist today and get my script filled for the medicine the doctor prescribed for me some weeks ago now.

My first bout of insomnia back in January earlier this year did not last as long and whilst it was very frustrating, this round has beat it by far and last night, well, as I already mentioned, it was the worst and yeah, I have pulled an all nighter.  I cannot remember pulling an all nighter for a long, long time.  I am sure there were more recent times, but one memory that comes to mind was during my college days when I stayed over at a friend's who had moved into her own apartment and it was all fresh and new and exciting.  Yeah, we had the stamina for it back then and we went to school the next day, too.

Fortunately today I do not have to go to school or to work; but I will take a trip to the chemist as I already mentioned.  The past few weeks have proven interesting to say the least.  If you had the chance to read my blog post called "Elephants....Any In Your Room", or more specifically the video included within the blog post, you would be aware that I resigned from my job just before Christmas 2016.  My husband Peter and I decided my health was more important, so I have been recuperating at home to regain my mental wellness after what has been a very difficult couple of years.

In the course of my recovery I am doing a bit of reading and some writing (although not as much as I would like yet) and self discovery of what my next chapter(s) might look like; to dig deep and find what dreams I may have buried and one of the tools I am using is Wednesday's with Wendy.  I am very thankful for my incredibly supportive husband Peter and for friends, family and my life group from church who continue to offer love, prayers and encouragement along the way.

Along the journey of self discovery comes questions and reflection and I believe this is contributing to my insomnia.  I will not deny that some days are hard and challenging because there are other things happening, too, which I hope to be able to share with you soon, but I press on and I will keep pressing on until I find the answers.

Peter and I watched the movie "Miracles From Heaven" yesterday; yes, we watched it at the theatre when it was first released, but it was such a good 'true' story to see again and I am sure we will many more times in the future, too.  If you are like me, you might remember bits and pieces of a good movie or book or sermon, but there is value in reviewing what you watched, read or heard to help solidify the information or lesson.

Personally I find reviewing those valuable morsels of truth invaluable because sometimes the chapters we are going through feel like they are an all nighter, but the good news is, morning is coming!

His Mercies Are New Every Morning

This is a short story about a gal whose name is Rebecca.  Her year started out okay but then she learned the news that her Mom's condition had worsened - you see, she had cancer which had metastasized and spread into her liver, kidney and blood.  Rebecca had married a man who did not live close to her Mom and siblings, so she knew that she wanted to go and spend some time with her Mom before her condition really deteriorated.  What a blessing that time was - a real special gift that she will forever treasure in her heart - memories that can never be taken away.  Rebecca's Mom passed away and the celebration of her Mom's life was amazing - whilst she was sad that her Mom had died, she was happy at the testimony of her Mom's life - her legacy lives on.  Even in the midst of her Mom's passing there were some other challenges that befell her but God stood by her and kept her strong.  She would grieve later.

Later came and she returned home and thought her life would return to normal if she could even remember what that was, but alas, more disappointment was coming her way.  Just when she thought she had endured all the pain she could, she encountered more loss.  Her job.  She asked questions, lots of questions and felt lots of pain in the process of being moved out of her job, being assigned to a completely different role and unsure of her future vocation, but the one thing she does know, "His mercies are new every morning." 

Rebecca is still grieving the loss of her Mom and others including her job, but she is so thankful that God provides strength for each new day in the midst of this season.  He provides this strength to her by way of the support of a loving husband who has been there through it all, caring and praying friends and family, a loving and thoughtful church family who have encouraged her to remain in Him and her beautiful children to whom bring her so much joy and she is so proud!

Rebecca has sought professional help through this journey as well and continues to do so; something she would strongly recommend to anyone experiencing grief.  It is not a sign of weakness, but rather of strength to pursue healing and wholeness.  Rebecca would like to encourage anyone travelling along a similar path; that pain is uncomfortable but a necessary part of the process; that has to be walked through.  There is no defined schedule; we are all unique.  It is important to be patient with yourself and recognise when you are having an off day, that is okay - something Rebecca has to remind herself of, too.  She believes the pain never truly ever goes away - some wise women from her church shared the analogy that the scar is still there; she will not feel it as much some days and other days, a memory, smell or sound may cause the pain to come to the surface again.  Never be afraid of the tears - by suppressing the pain and the tears, they will only cause more pain.  Rebecca is continuing to see a counsellor to help her process her grief.  She is very grateful for the men and women who provide such a valuable and delicate service to those in need.

Rebecca is thankful because He will turn her mourning into dancing.....in His time....

3900 SATURDAYS

Hi there,
Now, this is really cool....an article I received that I wanted to share on my blog - hope you enjoy and perhaps the message is something for each and everyone of else to stop and consider in our own lives!

The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.

A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other.  What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it:

I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind, he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business.  He was telling whom-ever he was talking with something about 'a thousand marbles.' I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say.... 

' Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much.  Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet.  It's too bad you missed your daughter's 'dance recital' he continued. 'Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities.' And that's when he began to explain his theory of a 'thousand marbles.'

'You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic.  The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years. 

'Now then,  I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part.

It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail', he went on, 'and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays.' 'I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy.  So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had.  I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear.'