Perhaps as I get older (although I am still very young at heart - they are just numbers afterall), I realise the importance of each and every day and they are equally a big deal, not just New Year's. Sure, with New Year's comes a new month, a brand new year and if we are still here to enjoy it, that is nothing to sneeze at, but yeah, the night itself, no real big deal to me. Sure, there are special New Year's when we holidayed in Canada and spent New Year's Eve in the freezing cold in Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada and watched the yellow bug climb to the top of the Skylon Tower, but they are particularly special - creating a special memory.
This next year 2020 is different because it means that the calendar shows that we have entered a new decade, but apart from a few special highlights, my reflection of the past ten years shows far more sadness than I would wish on anyone:
- Aug 28 2011 - My Dad, John Robert Tough passed in 77th year
- Dec 2011 - Planned Christmas Holiday with Mom and Dad
- May 17 2012 - My Grandma Mason passed - 92 years old
- Aug 16 2012 - Aidan Jones born (Peter and my Godson)
- Dec 10 2012 - Our First Santa and Mrs Claus appearance
- Dec 2013 - Family Holiday in Canada with Mom
- Jan 2014 - US Holiday Trip
- Dec 2014 - Christmas with Bethie (Peter's Mum) and trip north to Mackay
- April 7 2015 - Abigail Jones born (Peter and my Goddaughter)
- April 11 2015 - Mom passed in her 76th year
- Nov 2016 - Vacation in Fiji
- Dec 19 2016 - resigned from work due to unfortunate circumstances
- Jan 16 2017 - Leo (a good friend of mine's little boy) died suddenly; only 4 years old
- April 17 2017 - Jessie Grimes (Our faithful puppy) passed - 14 years old
- July 24 2017 - Beth Grimes (Peter's Mum) passed aged 87 years old
- Oct 2018 - Bought Lilac Wine, our dream sailing boat
- Dec 20 2018 - Anneke Wood passed 55 years old (a friend gone too soon)
- March 23 2019 - Chasely and Dale’s wedding (My beautiful children's wedding)
- April 19 2019 - John Mertz (my sister Cathy's husband) passed 61 years of age
- May 29 2019 - Peter Grimes' (my husband) 60th birthday and a surprise party on May 18 2019 {in the midst of planning Peter's party, my sister Cathy's husband died very unexpectedly and to say that continuing with planning Peter's party was difficult is an understatement}
- June 1 2019 - Set sail on our adventure north on our dream sailing boat Lilac Wine
- Aug 5 2019 - Arrived at Whitsundays - Airlie Beach - on what would have been Mom’s 80th birthday
- Sept 1 2019 - Ruthann Lawrence (a dear cousin) passed - 59 years old
- Dec 24 2019 - Phil Stoddard (my Aunt Kim’s brother passed away)
In addition to the above losses, Peter and I have numerous friends who have lost parents and loved ones - so many farewells - too many it feels. We have also witnessed too many broken relationships and families, too and my heart is sad for this as well. We will continue to do our part to help support those who are hurting.
There are other personal losses that I have not listed here and my healing journey continues. My losing Mom was complicated by various things, not the least of which was my employer's horrific treatment of me while processing my grief. The fight for justice that was in me is nearly gone and the insurance company sure knows how to kick you where it hurts. I fought for disability insurance for remuneration for a job that I had to give up unwillingly and I investigated various avenues which I was not successful.
My prayer for 2020 is that the insurance company will once and for all deal with my case in a manner that is humane and I can continue to look over the horizon at what God has in store for me. As I said above, I would not wish the amount of sadness that my heart has had to endure on anyone, not even my worst enemy - an apology from people for their wrong treatment of me and repentance for their bad behaviour would have been well received.
Alas, I know that we cannot control our future, but I am so thankful that I know who holds my future and it is in Him that I put my trust.
Happy New Year Everyone.
